all those posts like “don’t give yourself bangs during quarantine” “don’t dye your hair” “don’t shave your head” are honestly bullshit this is the Perfect time you’re literally not allowed to leave the house for god knows how long do something crazy who gives a fuck
Counterpoint: I saw a lady with a choppy (natural) grey Mohawk today that looked sick as hell and she said “thanks, its my living room special”. Be the post apocalyptic rebel you wanna see
Don’t get me wrong, I love cottagecore as much as the next lesbian BUT
I’m also in love with the idea of cuddling with a girl over white sheets on a summer day in a quiet little clean apartment in the city with the noise of the busy streets outside the window and a fan blowing over us while we talk about nothing and everything, we’re both wearing tank tops and shorts to beat the heat, and we’re surrounded by art I’ve been working on but haven’t finished
Aries: Oh youll know when the time for slapping comes. Youll know.
Taurus: Its important to listen in any relationship. Try reading what your significant other is carving into the table with a breadknife.
Gemini: Your stomach troubles are the result of the large amounts of predatory crustaceans you add to your coffee every morning.
Cancer: Feeling stuck? What you need is more slithering.
Leo: When it comes to negotiating for your life with swarms of rats controlled by a single massive hive conciseness, a little lettuce goes a long way.
Virgo: The power brick for your laptop charger is actually full of sand and your laptop is powered by friendship.
Libra: The amount of blood you are losing is not in your best interest. Practice self care and staunch those wounds.
Scorpio: Do not worry scorpio, the stars and I know you cannot read and so todays horoscope will be delivered by orbital drop.
Ophiuchus: Your newfound ability to hear subsonic noise will introduce you to a new world of beats too fat for the human ear.
Sagittarius: Tomorrow you will wake up in a haze to discover that you have written a terrible novel.
Capricorn: Your inability to do algerbra is so impressive it deals psychic damage to bystanders. Properly isolate yourself before attempting math.
Aquarius: Your first concern should be continued movement forward. Im talkin auto theft.
Pisces: Indulge yourself Pisces, scale that brick wall like you’ve always wanted to. The only people who can stop you are the nervous parts of you and the restaurant staff.
